Not A Happy Post.

I'm So Confuse & Hurt With All These Things Happening!!

Yeap, this ain't a happy post 'cause i'm not happy.. I'm feeling useless, down, emo, heartbroken & any feelings which are related to all that i said above, it's a bummer 'cause  i'm working and when i'm down, usually i don't do my work well, i play around & i got distracted so easily.. so, this is what happen, this morning i was happily-text-ting with fiancé, so when i arrived office around 8 AM, i informed him that i'm safely arrived, & he replied me with, what i felt that his texts are kinda angry, saying that i'm late and asking where did i go cause i went out early, whereas i went out around 7.45 - 7.50 AM, it always make me feel frustrated when his asked me those questions 'cause i'm tired of him questioning my loyalty.. We're now in the state of getting married, planning things together, getting committed to each other & he thinks that i'm still playing, having scandals & all.. Seriously, i need to think straight before making my decision & i did, he's my 1st & he's also my last lover, that's all i wanted.. not being questioned all the time, so i asked him, why is he mad, i went out late & drove slow, everything i do seems to annoy him, if i drove slow or fast, he get mad & even if i do or don't have any scandal, he stills question me. The very worst part which made me feel that way, he call me stupid, & he announce me as "KAU" instead of "SYG". If he want things to go as normal then i'm willing to ask for forgiveness if i'm wrong or right, if he don't have that feeling anymore, no more love then let me go.. it's simple unless we;re married, that's another different story to be written. *Sigh*

& Yes, He Fucking-Ly Broke My Heart!!

Update!

Okay, it's been awhile i haven't update, Yeaa, busy & lazy much.. & i realize not much of Brunei-an blog these days, guess people are to busy with Facebook or Twitter.. I, Myself is also involved on both social networks, which i think the only places to vent anger? Hehe.. it's up to individual, actually.. so, Ulya's Wedding went well.. from his Nikah as well as his Sanding, tho some stuffs are last-minuted, or even double-worked, but over-all, it was worth our time & Fun!! & Further more : 

Congratulations To Ulya & Icha,

Semoga Ber-kekalan Hingga Ke-Akhir Hayat!! 

So Now, it's my turn to start planning and do more shoppings for my up-coming DECEMBER event, Yesss, it's so festive, There's my wedding,Christmas & New Yearrrr~.. But No,I'm not excited for the last two event, i'm excited for my wedding only, unless i'm going on vacation for New Year.. Hahaha... I've been working on my checklist but only on Hantaran,. which me & fiancée plan to buy on June, since we'll be going Singapore for vacation.. what i really need at this moment fo'real!! So we'll might be having Bedak-Bedak Mandi, Nikah, Berbedak + Bersanding In One Night, Makan-Makan Beras Rujut (Or So!).. we haven't had our final say 'cause we're waiting for our parents to meet up & discuss, We'll just follow the flow & prepare , So 'till then.. i'm hungrryyy!!!!

Uh-huhh.

Good day mate~..so it's coming toward of March, how's it been? So far, not that interesting or fun..Somewhat i'm lost cause i forgot how to have fun, i've into a lot of troubles this months, too much drama make me sick & it's awful, but that's okay... Lessons are meant to be learn, rightt??!! So,i registered myself to a web call TheKnot  , It's a seriously useful web BUT, i'm having a malay wedding so i need to adjust some of it, & when it shows that i've 276 Days to go for my big day, i panicked!! feels like i wanna rush everything & get it done but i can't since my brother's wedding on May so i've to start slowly.. Planned to register next month, to get the approval a.s.a.p so i won't freaked out.. so,'till then~... 

Friday

It's been a teary Friday, & it's been a bad start for this month.. it was suppose to be a great month, month of joy but turn out to be month of disappointment, lots of crazy-sad-thing happen this month which i bet i'll remember for the rest of the year & all of the coming years, Freaky!! So, i'm kinda lost of words now, having massive headaches as well as massive world war with fiancé, not that worst we had so far after engagement..& which i hope won't happen again.. i can't think straight!! Please Come Home Soonn!!!

Bless

So, While i was doin' my work.. something pop's out of my head, it's kinda funny instead of devastating.. Haha.. Seriously, when it happened, i wasn't even sad.. i was amazingly-happy & years after that karma hits me so hard, so let start my story-telling session; 

Few years back, which was about 6 years ago.. i had a boyfriend of almost 5 years, so he's my school-hood-boyfriend, we've been through alot as well.. his brother passed away, his parents divorce, his sickness but one thing that was missing - LOVE!!! Yess, i never loved him, to me he's sort of my best buddy, on & off few time but still no love, i just need companion.. hehe.. 'cause most of my besties have their on boyfriends.. Hahaha.. 'Till one dayy, early 2006, i was in form 5 'O' level, He wrote me a letter ('cause hand-phones are not IN yet!), saying he's goin' to break up with me, YES, HE DUMPED ME!! but at the mean time i'm already contacting with another guy, so i didn't replied that letter but since he quit school, so i know there's no way we're back together.. 


After a month of being single & contacting with a guy for almost a month or two, he finally proposed on Thursday, February 2nd, 2006 & I still remember, It was Maghrib , Skies were getting dark & i was in my room with my sister, Alen.. Dammnn,I was so Happy, hyperrr & everything in between.. you know that feeling when you're newly couple.. butterflies in ur tummy.. & feels like u wanna jump & jump & jump.. hahaha.. but i don't do jumping.. So yeahhh, Alhamdulilah.. Now, i'm engaged to that guy..

IT'S BEEN 6 YRS, 2 WEEKS & 16 DAYS WE'RE COUPLE!!

& 5 MONTHS, 22 WEEKS & 160 DAYS SINCE WE'RE ENGAGED!!

NegativePositive

If You Always See The Negative Side Of Things, Eventually That’s All There Is. Always Look For The Positive No Matter How Small.

Sleepy.